Studying Love - part two

Before my break, I shared the first half of a study some friends and I were doing on the 1 Corinthians 13 "love" passage. I've had several requests to share the second half, so even though I'm not intending to blog for now, here's the rest of the study. :)

Love is not irritable-- [irritable-- capable of being provoked to impatience, anger or displeasure; easily exasperated, annoyed; responsive to stimuli; provokable]

• Working DEF of "is not irritable": peacefully willing to continually extend forgiveness rather than living in a state of being easily moved to anger, impatience, and frustration.
• {Cross-refs: Example from David's life-- 2 Sam. 16:5-14, 19:16-23; Examples from Christ-- Matt. 5:23-24, 45-46; Luke 15:11-32; Luke 23:32-49; Christ's forgiveness even on the cross; His compassion on the crowds always pressing for His attention)
  

Love is not resentful-- [resentful-- full of a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury; counts up wrongdoing]

• Working DEF of "is not resentful": does not count up wrongs against others based on my own perceptions; instead, looks to the standard of Christ's forgiveness and willingness to love even people who treated Him poorly
  
• {Cross-refs: same as above; this particular facilitator just gave us broad stories/examples}

***One story was shared that was enlightening for these last two points. It comes from the life of John Hyde (a.k.a. "Praying Hyde"). He said, basically, that we should imagine if we were to walk into a master craftsman's workshop and look around. This craftsman's work was known far and wide as durable, beautiful, and highly valued. But as we look around the shop, we'd clearly see pieces of furniture in various stages of progress and wouldn't be surprised. In fact, we'd be the foolish ones to look around and begin criticizing each piece... "look at this one; it just looks like a lump of wood!"... "this piece isn't even straight! What a lousy piece of work!" ... "this chair looks OK, but when you touch it, the arms and seat are splintery and sharp; no one could ever use it!" The point is, that's what we are doing when we look around and get irritable and resentful towards the people around us when, in fact, we are all just works in progress in the workshop of the Everlasting God.

Love rejoices not in iniquity-- [iniquity: wrongdoing, evil, violence, injustice, rebellion, perversity, missing the mark, unrighteousness... rejoicing in the sins of others]

• A challenge from Jonathan Edwards on this subject: "Do you carry with you, habitually, a dread of sin? Do you not only mourn and humble yourself for sins that are past, but have you a dread of sin for the future? And do you dread it because in itself it is evil, and so hurtful to your own soul, and offensive to God? Do you dread it as a terrible enemy? ... Do you stand on your watch against it?"
• Working DEF: guards against and hates sin, in myself and others, wherever it is found.
  
• Cross-refs: {1 John 1:9; Job 34:10, 32; Job 24:32; Job 36:10; Ps 32:2; Ps 51:1-2; Ps 53:1}

Love rejoices in the truth-- clings to that which is reliable, sure, stable, faithful; holds to divine instruction, true doctrine

• Working DEF: delights and rejoices in God, His Word, and His ways
• Cross-refs: {Ps 19:7-11; Deut 32:4; Ps 51:6; Ps 57:10; John 1:14, 17; John 8:32, 44; John 14:6}

Love bears all things-- "covers all things quietly" (Grk #4722), a word related to the Latin toga, english deck/thatch. To cover, protect, cover with silence, endure, bear. "Puts up with all sorts of things" -R. Picirilli; "contains oneself in silence from giving vent"; extending kindness to others as we extend it to ourselves -- C. S. Lewis

• Working DEF: love silently covers the offensive or hurtful and opts for forgiveness, peace, and kindness.
• Cross-refs: {Prov 17:9; Ps 68:19-20; Prov 10:12; Prov 11:13; Jere 10:10; Nahum 1:7; Romans 3:23-25; Eph 4:1-3; Col 3:12-13}

Love believes all things-- believes in an ethical sense; confidence in the goodness of men; to have confidence/trust; not distrustful/suspicious; not quick to give up; freely loving without cynicism; "unsuspiciously believes what is not provably false"

• Challenging thoughts from various commentators: Love "prefers to put confidence in people, to believe the best, and give them the benefit of the doubt" ~R. Picirilli; "In doubtful cases, he will prefer being too generous in his conclusions to suspecting another unjustly" ~Robertson/Plummer; "Love trusts in the redeemable possibilities of others" ~Orr-Walther.
• Working DEF: unless and until known otherwise, tenaciously and unsuspiciously believes the best
• Cross-refs: {Prov. 12:16, Prov 3:29, Prov 11:21, Prov 15:3, Prov 19:5} Examples: Ruth, Melanie Wilkes
  

Love hopes all things-- expect with confidence, anticipate with pleasure, joy, and assurance; confidently expects restoration, reconciliation, etc... even in times of trouble

• Working DEF: joyfully anticipates what God will do in all people and situations encountered
• Cross-refs: {Ps 38:15; Jer 23:16; 1 John 3:2-3; Rom 8:19-24; Luke 19:5-10; Luke 15:11-32; Luke 7:37-39, 44-50}

Love endures all things-- perseveres, to remain, have fortitude, abide, not recede or flee, bear bravely and calmly, patiently suffer

• Working DEF: doesn't give up and keeps eternity in mind
• Cross-refs: {1 Chron 16:34; Ps 100:5; Ps 138:8; Ps 145:13; Matt 10:22; Matt 13:21; 1 Peter 1:25; James 5:11} Other examples: Job, Joseph, Ruth, Paul, Jesus
  

Love never fails-- never ends, perpetual, long-term, offers grace and love at every opportunity

• Working DEF: long-term; offers sure, steadfast love at every opportunity
• Cross-refs: {Deut 4:31; 1 Kings 8:56; Ps 38:10; James 2:10; Habakkuk 3:17-19}

I hope this is as helpful and challenging for some of you as it has been for my friends and I. Truly, we can never live up to this standard of love; but with God all things are possible. And certainly, with the help and conviction of the Holy Spirit, we can all grow in this area.

Many blessings to all of you... and may God continue to draw you deeper and deeper into His LOVE.

Radio Silence

I used to love the show, Alias. Still do, really, but it went downhill in later seasons. But those first couple of seasons-- wow!-- they were incredible. Aside from the occasional racy outfit, the predicaments and feats of Sydney Bristow were cliff-hangingly delightful.

At certain points, when Sydney was facing a dangerous point in a mission, she'd go "radio silent". Maybe she didn't want to be detected by enemies, maybe she needed full concentration, or maybe the radio transmitter would interfere with the mission at hand. Whatever the case, for a period of time, she'd turn off her earpiece and her microphone and just do what she needed to do.

In my own effort to give full concentration to the job at hand, I'm sensing that I need to turn off the communications for a while and enter a time of "radio silence" with Making Home.

There's a lot I'm learning and growing in... and I want to learn and grow more. I'm 29, ya know? (Though, to be truthful, I only have about 4-5 more weeks I can say that.) :) There's this awesome man I get to hang out with and serve and love and grow with, and I don't want to be distracted by technology. There's raising, training, and schooling these four wild and wonderful kiddos... and I want to do that well. I have a funny little recently-weaned 18-month-old who needs some training and lovins. There are incredible books I want to read... most of all, the central book of my life: God's Word.

I don't want to get to the point where everything becomes related to an online world. I don't ever want my kiddos to think that computer interactions are the most significant in my life. And I just need to exercise some good ole' self-discipline. And I guess, to relate this all to Sydney & her crazy wigs, I don't want these optional (often even helpful) transmissions and communications to interfere with the task I've been given to do in this period of time.

Please don't take this as a judgment on anyone else, or on you, or even on me a year ago or me a year from now. For years, I've read other people's "I need to step away" blogposts and message board comments and seen that as a portion of their own personal journey. This is mine... for now.

I don't know how long this season will last, but I am certain that don't want to contribute to "noise" or just put more opinions out there. I don't want to be a resounding gong or spend time creating unnecessary yokes for others. If and when I write, I want the things I say to *last*-- to have meaningful, biblical, practical helps for the people who read them-- to hold up over the course of time and not just be a flash-in-the-pan perspective based on personal or cultural ideas-- and to communicate both love and truth. In recent days, I've gone back through old posts and deleted many. I've tried to whittle down Making Home to more of a central message/theme in hopes that those who continue to read here will be encouraged and challenged to follow Christ.

As Anton Ego says on "Ratatouille", "You know what I'm craving? A little perspective. That's it. I'd like some fresh, clear, well-seasoned perspective."

For this next "season", I need to shut off the communications, gain some perspective, and focus in on my task. I enjoy interacting with you all. I love being able to share what I'm learning or tips I've picked up along the way and encourage, challenge, and/or help others. I even enjoy getting gentle pushback when others have a different perspective. And it is truly joyful for me to point people towards Christ-honoring, valuable, and thought-provoking resources.

But for now, I need to give my focus and the "best" of who I am and what I have to the people who are right here in front of me. This summer has given me some perspective on that, and I'm gonna run with it for now. I have no idea how long it will last; I'm sure I'll still keep up with some of you via your own blogs... but for this portion of my "task", I'm flipping the switch and going radio silent. See you on the other side.

Family Vacation #1

Greetings from Cairo! I just had to share these pictures:

Privilege

What an absolute gift it is to be a mom!

Just this morning, I was playing "I Spy Eagle Eye" with our three oldest kiddos. And it was incredible! Our five-year-old is like a madman at this game... he tears into it and has found his match and dinged the bell before I even get a chance to glance down at my card. And I know that that sounds like an exaggeration; let me assure you that it is not. As he did this time and time and time and time again (this was the first time I'd played with him, though I'd heard Doug and our oldest son previously rave about his skills), I was awestruck. I don't know what he's going to be... a drafting engineer? An architect? An artist or graphic designer? A lawyer with a mind for catching the slightest detail? Some kind of skilled worker who can quickly assess what's wrong with an engine, pipes, or structure and solve the problem? I don't know. But this I know: as long as God allows it, I'll get to watch him grow up... and one day, I'll find out what God's grand scheme for this kid is.

For now, I get to get my tail kicked in "I Spy Eagle Eye" and marvel at the design of this young mind, and store up all these things in my heart, waiting to see how they will materialize. What an absolute PRIVILEGE.

[We leave for Cairo this evening, so I'll see ya when I see ya.]

May it Never Be "Me, Myself, and I"

[It's been almost 6 weeks since I last wrote, and it may be another few weeks before I write again as we're preparing to go on vacation next week... but I felt compelled to share this, so here it is. ~Jess]

Since watching "Into the Wild" (a film I will not hasten to watch again, for many reasons) in July, I have been pondering many things about "Alexander Supertramp" and his fateful existence:

• Selfishness is a severe, life-impacting character deficiency. -- Again and again, Chris (aka "Alexander") turned away from people who cared about him to "prove himself" and "live for himself". He did so recklessly-- not even taking a compass or having really educated himself in the ways of wilderness survival. But in his intense desire to live life "honestly" as he called it, he did so quite selfishly. The people he presumed to instruct and teach about "love" and really living sadly knew more about love and life than he would ever know.
  
• Life is not meant to be lived alone.-- Extreme individualism flies in the face of not only most of the world's cultures (which usually place much higher value on community than American culture does), but also in the face of biblical culture. More on this in a minute.
  
• A troubled childhood can really screw up a person. --Young men who grow up without learning how to be a man nearly always struggle mightily as they reach manhood; the same is true for young women, although with the cultural god of feminism, I'd bet that more young women than men think they know what the goal is-- whether they're accurate in the ultimate goal of life is less likely.
  

GOD'S DESIGNS ARE PERFECT
There are problems in every church, every family, every home, every culture, every life. But one thing I really like and value about God's designs of both church & family is that they are intended to combat the very problems that play out in this film. Families are designed to work out kinks of selfishness, extreme individualism, pride, and arrogance ... and in the family, young girls watch and learn how to be ladies, and young boys watch and learn how to be men. Churches of believers support and challenge other Christians and families to learn the ways of love, kindness, encouragement, one-anothering. NOT that we always do a good job of it. But community is God's design... and for good reason.

I loved seeing my son opt to use his 25 piece coin to let his sister do a ride rather than buy gum for himself the other day. Not that he always makes such choices, but I am thankful that, over time, he will have many opportunities because he is a part of our family to display kindness and selflessness. I pray that he'll learn to value the joy of another and learn how to translate into his own joy, rather than primarily seeking his own way.

And I am thankful to have the opportunity to learn from people who are very different from me, because we are part of the body of Christ. Amy left the busy life in Florida to move out to a farm in Amish country. MaryGrace has foster-to-adopted children and always makes me think. Barbara is Catholic and has twelve children. Sara has dreds and a young family and likes (occasionally) living in an RV. All different without a doubt, yet we all love and follow Jesus. And these are just my online friends! :) In my real-life family and in our real-life church, there are introverts and extroverts, servers and exhorters, teachers and pastors. There are females and males, young and old. All of us different. All of us wanting our own ways. And yet we all are better for learning to love and serve one another rather than having been off on our own, independent and unattached.

GOD'S DESIGN
God did not mean for us to walk away into a wilderness by ourselves. The entire world was perfectly created and called good. And yet, even as perfect as it was, it was incomplete -- the one thing wrong was that there was no community. No relationship. So God made woman. He told the man and the woman to multiply-- to make more people to learn to love and to reflect God's glory. Men and women, in our biology and desires, need one another. He designed a woman's body (both through carrying the child and nursing the child) so that human contact is necessary. He designed the family for children to learn relationships from the very beginning, and for adults to grow in their abilities to love and sacrifice for others.

Then He sent His Son, Jesus. Aside from a few times of rest or fasting, Christ lived 30 years in family and community, and 3 years in daily, moment-by-moment contact with friends. He lived in love, died in love, sacrificed Himself in love, and then commanded His followers to continue on as the church in love. Unity within His church is what's to be most shocking to outsiders. The church is a place for refinement, sanctification, spiritual growth-- learning to love (1 Corinthians 13 defines the characteristics of "love" in ways that are, basically, the complete opposite of "selfish").

In His Word, we often find that the most beautiful stories are those with deep relationships-- Ruth & Naomi, David & Jonathan, Esther & Mordechai, Hagar & Ishmael, Jacob & Rachel (& Leah), Elizabeth & Mary, Solomon & his Shulammite bride, Paul & Silas, Joseph with his brothers, Bathsheba and Solomon. All had pain. All included heartbreak, let-downs, near-misses, close escapes, tragic sin, misunderstanding, and/or grief. And yet, through these beautiful stories, we see God's beautiful design for human life to be lived IN RELATIONSHIP.

Though "Into the Wild" is not a movie I would recommend for others or want to see again anytime soon, I am thankful that it presented the opportunity to think deeper about the real meaning of life... not getting away by one's self and shoving off the world, but being IN the world, LOVING others, EMPTYING me of myself and EMBRACING the life of sacrifice and true love that Christ modeled.

TTFN, and a Summer Show & Tell

There must be something about this time of year. This week it hit me that I need to spend time away from this screen for a while. I try other methods (giving myself certain amount of time online, or try to only visit certain sites), but end up frustrated or it just doesn't "stick"... just shutting it off for awhile works better (for me). I've learned that if I do this every so often, I neither overestimate the importance of online activities, nor underestimate the resources, wisdom, and comraderie available here. And if I do this every so often, I don't end up shutting down my blog, only to realize that communicating by writing is a part of how God built me and that I need to get back to it.

Time away helps me to rightly value what's here, and rightly value what's NOT here.

So I'm taking some time away, not sure how long. About six weeks from now, our family is going to Cairo for our family vacation (we found a good deal and quickly snatched it up--YAY, I can't wait to see the Pyramids!!!), so it may be even after that, something like 2 months. We'll just see. And I reserve the right to hop back on, without shame, if there's something that I feel prodded to write about. :) But regardless, I hope you have a delightful summer- full of knowing Christ more, and joyfully loving family and the people around you.


As a parting gift, here are the links I've been storing up since the last Show & Tell (and I'll decorate them with recent pics of my kids):

FEATURED ARTICLE:

• KNOW YOUR BIBLE! Randy Alcorn warns that not knowing the Word of God is a monumental problem in the modern church... and I agree.

CAUSE IT'S INTERESTING:

• Challies explores technology, faith, relationships, distraction, and really knowing God and others: Don't Take Your iPod to Church!
• NEED A GOOD READ THIS SUMMER? Check out my 2009 book reviews for ideas (I'll continue updating through the summer).
• GOSSIP
  
• Mary Kassian writes about the soft strength of womanhood
• I've been listening to this incredible song about God on repeat for the last few days... Josh Harris noticed it too and written about it: Regina Spektor's "Laughing With"
  
• A young mom shares about her journey to becoming a better cook.
  
• Are you crafty? Need ideas? Check out this list.
• Cut out the busyness and spend time with people, says John Piper.
  
• A good word: Feelings are not good (or biblical!) indicators for if something is true or false!
• Books on a budget
• The abortion discussion is changing, says one formerly-pro-choice atheist
  
• Tips for hospitality
• You wouldn't pay 1,000 bucks a week to send your kid to x-box camp for kicks... College as merely "enjoyable" entertainment for young adults
  

RELATIONSHIPS:

• Why the "sexy" part of being a bride should be saved for AFTER the wedding.
• Steps/Counsel for responding to a husband's porn addiction.
• Jenny Sanford strikes me as a woman leaning on the grace of God in the middle of a really yucky situation. As I've watched her responses through her husband's adultery-- something that none of us would like to face-- I've been praying that many people will ask "what is the reason for her hope (grace, kindness, willingness to forgive)?" That kind of character in the face of shame and pain lets God shine through in a big way.
• John Piper recently published this gem: Sexual Intimacy & the Rights Over a Spouse's Body in Marriage
  

LIFE WITH KIDS:

• Jen (a mom who has had 4 kids in 5 years) shares tips for thriving through the newborn/little kids stages
• Ethical issues continue with prenatal tests -- we keep growing in knowledge and "advancements" in science, and yet our society seems more lost than ever.
• Swedish parents conceal child's gender --Yikes, poor kid!
  
• Enjoy your little ones, from a mom of five.
  
• Apparently, through this program, you can host African orphans in your home for a summer. Maybe something to pray about?
• 100 Things to do WITH KIDS in Washington, DC (What a great list! We used to live in DC and I wish we'd have done more while there.)
• "I am not the mother I want to be"-- a friend writes about the beautiful difficulties that come with being a mom of many
  

HOMESCHOOLING:

• New statistics on the growth & "success" of homeschooling
• Homeschooling your preschooler-- great advice here!
  

GOOD FOR A LAUGH:

• The "Upside" of Violent Video Games :)
• A couple of Lego Laughs: The Busstop, and The Decision
  
• The mp3 Experiment! Good, creative fun!